Have you ever been in that all-consuming relationship that takes up all your time and that you dedicate every single second to it? You're so deep in the love bubble that so much time goes by and you forget about your friends? I'm sure most married women have heard the talk given to us by our aunties at kitchen teas. "To protect your marriage, stay away from your single friends". When I probed further as to why this was the case when I was getting married I was given reasons that include how they will "steal your husband" or "influence you to do bad things in your marriage" I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I pondered on this for a while and didn't see any sense in this.
It's super important to maintain your friendships when you're married or dating and here's 5 reasons why:
1. If you couldn't trust your friend around your man while you were dating, she was never your friend.. I mean, let's be real, was she ever really your friend if you couldn't trust her?? These kinds of people need to be cut loose whether you are dating or not! Real friends truly want the best for you and are honest and support you completely. If you have a friend like that, hang on to that person for dear life! They are rare gems that you are so blessed to have in your life. 2. Single people give some of the BEST advice They truly do! I have gotten some of the best advice from my single friends and can provide a perspective that's not so "Mr & Mrs Married". They have helped me remember that sweat pants and nursing tops are far from sexy and certainly not acceptable for a trip to the store. Being reminded to look and act sexy has injected a bit of spontaneity into my relationship, that takes me back our dating days.
3. Your friends help you remember the "You" he fell in love with. Being around my friends and speaking to them gives me a little piece of my old life back. It's so easy to get absorbed in your partner and how awesome you two are together. You finish each others sentences, use the same phrases and then next thing you're sharing underwear. Okay, maybe not that last bit but you virtually gel into one person. Your girls have a unique way of bringing out the real you and bringing that person that your partner fell in love with back to the surface.
4. It gives you something different to talk about It is soooo crucial to spend time away from your partner sometimes! It gives you both a chance to have fresh experiences outside of each other and give you something interesting to talk about later. Being cooped up constantly with the same person day in and day out is sure to drive you both crazy. A change of scenery and different faces helps a lot!
5. SINGLE does not mean DESPERATE Just because someone is single it doesn't make them a man snatching seductress. That's a really archaic way of and it's very damaging. Everyone makes up their own mind to do what is either right or wrong and I think we are waaay past blaming our bad decisions on peer pressure. We need to just stop the stigma that we place on single people. For most, it's a choice that we need to respect. Besides, dating in this day and age is an extreme sport you guys! We went into more detail about it in a our previous blog posts about entanglements and dating in your thirties. I'll link them here: https://www.tumiwellness.com/post/sisterhood-series-002-the-quick-guide-to-dating-in-your-30-s and here https://www.tumiwellness.com/post/8-reasons-why-entanglements-are-not-for-the-faint-hearted It's important not to completely lose yourself to marriage and a lot of the time, our friends help us to maintain our sanity. Besides, there's nothing like quite like a good old fashioned girls' night out filled with giggles and a cocktail or two. In my opinion, precious time spent with your friends makes you and your marriage even sweeter. Wouldn't you agree? #TumiWellness #Relationships #WellnessInLove #Friendship